Discussing sensitive topics like pornography can feel daunting as a caregiver or parent. Many of us grapple with some level of discomfort around these topics, which could stem from our own upbringing, lack of knowledge, or fear of how these conversations may affect our children. At Dragonfly Centre, we understand these challenges and emphasize that creating a safe and supportive environment is essential for fostering healthy discussions about online safety, boundaries, and sexual health and wellness.
Some caregivers may wonder why they should consider discussing pornography with their youth. In today’s digital age, youth are exposed to explicit content at increasingly younger ages. The potential impact on their developing minds can be significant, leading to distorted perceptions of relationships and intimacy. Discussing pornography fosters open communication, empowering youth to think critically about what they see online, to set boundaries and express their feelings without shame. By addressing the potential dangers of pornography, parents can help their youth navigate risky situations and support their emotional development. Ultimately, these conversations equip kids with the knowledge and tools they need to develop healthy attitudes toward relationships and intimacy in a digital world.
Overcoming Barriers to the Conversation
- Educate Yourself First: Before engaging your youth, take the time to learn about the effects of pornography and the best ways to discuss it. Think about the wording that you plan to use, making sure it is age appropriate for your child (good pictures vs bad pictures, pictures or videos of people without any clothes on). This blog post was a great start!
- Start Early: Begin discussions about body safety, consent, and boundaries at a young age. The earlier you introduce these foundational concepts, the more natural it will feel when it comes time to discuss more difficult topics like pornography as they grow older.
- Normalize the Conversation: Talk about these topics just as you would talk about fire safety, pool safety, or home alone safety. Don’t treat these conversations as a one-time thing, revisit them often, point out relatable scenarios in TV shows and movies. This normalization reduces stigma and makes it easier for children to ask questions.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals or utilize resources that specialize in preventative education for children. You are not alone in this journey.
Recommended Resources for Caregivers
One of the most effective ways to start these conversations with children is through engaging and informative books! Before reading any book with your child, we highly recommend that you read the book yourself first or listen to someone else read it first (YouTube can be helpful for this). While we believe that these books are appropriate and valuable for the suggested age ranges – you may not agree. We encourage you to choose books that reflect the values and messages that you would like instilled in your child.
Our Top Recommendation:
Good Pictures Bad Pictures by Kristen A. Jenson (recommended for youth 9-14 years old)
Good Pictures Bad Pictures is an engaging read-aloud story that explains what pornography is and why it can be harmful. This book features a straightforward narrative that empowers children to recognize and reject inappropriate content. If you would like to purchase this book through Amazon, linked here, we earn a small commission on purchases made through our affiliate links, which helps support our nonprofit agency at no additional cost to you.
Key Features:
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- Age-Appropriate Language: The book uses simple analogies and science to ensure understanding.
- The 5-Point CAN DO Plan: This practical guide equips children with strategies to protect themselves when they encounter explicit material.
- Discussion Questions: Each chapter includes “Let’s Talk!” questions that encourage deeper understanding and family discussions.
Listen to the YouTube Book Reading here.
There is also a Jr edition!
Good Pictures Bad Pictures jr. by Kristen A. Jenson (recommended for youth 4 to 8 years old)
Using gentle, age-appropriate messages, children will learn to “Turn, Run & Tell” when they are exposed to inappropriate content. If you would like to purchase this book through Amazon, linked here, we earn a small commission on purchases made through our affiliate links, which helps support our nonprofit agency at no additional cost to you.
By reading books like these with your youth, you not only provide them with vital knowledge but also create an opportunity for open dialogue about their feelings and questions.
Remember that it’s never too late to start these conversations. Although it may feel uncomfortable at first, talking about pornography is an essential part of helping youth navigate the digital world. By prioritizing these conversations, you’ll empower them to develop critical thinking skills and a strong sense of personal safety.
We also have a list of books to help talk to your children and youth about consent, boundaries and body safety. Read more on our Recommended Books Blog