October is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to shine a light on the experiences of all survivors of sexual violence, including men and boys, whose voices are often overlooked. Sexual violence is not just a women’s issue. Men and boys experience it too, and yet social pressures and harmful stereotypes often keep their experiences invisible.
In Alberta, 1 in 3 boys and 2 in 3 girls will experience sexual abuse before the age of 18. It’s crucial to recognize that these statistics likely underrepresent the true prevalence of sexual abuse, as many cases go unreported due to stigma, fear, and societal expectations.
The Weight of Social Expectations
From an early age, boys and men are often taught to be emotionally restrained, and self-reliant. These expectations can make it deeply challenging for male survivors to speak openly about experiences of sexual violence. Fear of judgment, shame, or disbelief can silence their voices and prevent them from seeking support, leaving trauma unhealed and isolation to grow. Many worry that coming forward will cause others to see them as weak or helpless, reinforcing harmful stereotypes that discourage healing.
Actor and former NFL player Terry Crews, who came forward during the #MeToo movement after being sexually assaulted by a Hollywood executive, described the backlash he faced for speaking out:
“People need to understand that this kind of thing can happen to anyone. You can be strong, famous, and still be assaulted, and still be afraid to say anything.”
This stigma is often perpetuated through media portrayals, cultural beliefs, and even the attitudes of family and peers. When male survivors share their experiences, their stories are too often dismissed, minimized, or treated with ridicule rather than recognized as genuine experiences with serious and lasting effects. These societal pressures make it harder for men to seek help and uphold the harmful misconception that sexual violence only affects women and girls.
Why Visibility Matters
Acknowledging men and boys as survivors is crucial. Trauma does not discriminate, and healing is possible for everyone. When male survivors see themselves reflected in conversations about sexual violence, they are more likely to seek support, access services, and begin the journey toward recovery.
In Canada, male survivors have begun speaking up and reshaping the national conversation around sexual violence. Kyle Beach, a former professional hockey player, courageously came forward in 2021 to share his experience of sexual assault within the NHL system. His story shattered the illusion that masculinity protects against victimization:
“I felt alone and dark for a long time. When I was asked to speak, I did it because I don’t want this to happen to anyone else. I want survivors to know—they’re not alone.”
The Human Side of Healing
Trauma affects everyone differently. Some may withdraw, while others may become overachievers or turn to coping mechanisms that mask their pain. Musician Marcus Mumford, from Mumford & Sons, revealed that he was sexually abused as a child, and spoke candidly about his healing journey:
“Like lots of people—I’m learning more and more about this as we go on—there are many ways people respond to being a survivor. For me, it came out through my art, through writing, through trying to make sense of something I didn’t understand for years.”
His words echo the experience of many male survivors who may not even recognize what happened to them until adulthood. Healing is not linear, and there’s no one “right” way to process trauma.
How We Can Make a Difference
Changing the narrative starts with all of us: parents, educators, caregivers, and communities.
Here’s how we can support male survivors:
- Listen without judgment: Create spaces where boys and men feel safe to share their experiences.
- Validate feelings: Trauma responses vary, and every survivor deserves belief and compassion.
- Challenge stereotypes: Speak out against harmful narratives that equate masculinity with silence.
- Educate ourselves and others: Share knowledge about male sexual violence and the resources available to support survivors.
- Model healthy vulnerability: By showing emotional openness and seeking help ourselves, we normalize healing and resilience for everyone.
Together, We Can Break the Stigma
Sexual violence is not confined by gender. By recognizing the experiences of men and boys, we can foster a culture of understanding, empathy, and healing. Every survivor deserves to be seen, believed, and supported – because healing is a human right, not a gendered one.
This October, as we focus on preventing child abuse, let’s commit to including all voices in the conversation. Let’s ensure that male survivors know they are not alone, that their experiences are valid, and that help is available. Together, we can break the silence, shatter harmful stereotypes, and create communities where everyone can heal.